Even though I missed the red carpet because I was at my daughter’s soccer game and then stocking her room with groceries (it’s amazing what you can fit into a teeny tiny dorm fridge), I am still going to comment on the carpet. That’s how dedicated I am to giving you my useless opinions on fashion.
The worst, because it is just so much more fun. And that’s why we’re here, am I right?
1.Laura Carmichael. Did Lady Mary MAKE you wear this?
Laura Carmichael arrives at the 68th Primetime Emmy Awards on Sunday, Sept. 18, 2016, at the Microsoft Theater in Los Angeles. (Photo by Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP)
Let’s just start by saying I love tulle. I never met a piece of tulle I didn’t want to marry, but a yellow vest with tulle, um that would be a no, never, a “you’re trying to fuck with us and see if we call you out.” This is truly in a class all its own. And as if the two colors together, weren’t bad enough, the daisy just seals the deal. I mean we are in Bjork swan dress territory as far as I’m concerned. Granny is going to be pissed.
2. Anna Chlumsky. I hate it, but I bet it was fun to wear.
Actress Anna Chlumsky, of HBO’s “Veep,” arrives at the 68th Primetime Emmy Awards in Los Angeles, California, U.S., September 18, 2016. REUTERS/Lucy Nicholson
This is basically what everyone would love to wear to an award show. I mean it’s essentially wrapping yourself up in your comforter and walking the carpet. She just had a baby a couple weeks ago, so there’s that, but this is one disastrous look.
3. Mandy Moore. I’ll see you at the prom.
This is such a bush league mistake–you are on the red carpet, not running for homecoming queen. There are too many ruffles, it’s an ugly color. Her hair looks like a 70’s senior high school yearbook portrait. It does match the color of the Emmys type behind her, so I’ll give her a point for that…..
4. Amy Poehler. Is that turf she’s wearing?
I love her. She is the funniest, but nothing funny about this dress. At all. Not even one little giggle. I hate it. It could be a sexy golf course. “Fore.”
5. Gwendoline Christie. Game of Moans.
What is that fabric? Leather? Pleather? Ugly? I pick number three. And where did that black pleated skirt thing come from? Is there another dress underneath? Could it be uglier than this one? I do not think so.
And onto the girls who got it right.
- Kerry Washington. Hot mamma.
Mandatory Credit: Photo by Rob Latour/Variety/REX/Shutterstock (5899047es) Kerry Washington 68th Primetime Emmy Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA – 18 Sep 2016
Oh baby, this is a gorgeous look from head to toe. She looks naturally beautiful. Baby on board: you got one pretty mommy.
2. Padma Lakshmi. Top chef host sizzles.
LOS ANGELES, CA – SEPTEMBER 18: TV personality Padma Lakshmi attends the 68th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 18, 2016 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Steve Granitz/WireImage)
Someone got out the good silver. I love the simplicity of this dress. It fits her body like the glove didn’t fit O.J.
3. Kristen Bell. Really pretty, plus flamingos!
This is so not a dress I would ordinarily like, but damn it, she looks perfect in this embroidered jungle. Plus I love the styling. Her hair is a 10 for me. Young and fresh.
4. Sarah Hyland. Who doesn’t love pants with a dress?
I’m guessing this will be an unpopular choice, but let me just say, if I could dress up and down black leggings or pants for the rest of my life, I would (oh, I forgot, I already do). I like it. There, I said it. And I love the sandals.
5. Tatiana Maslany. One look representing so many personalities.
This Orphan Black actress plays several sisters who all have different personalities. You have to wonder how she decided to fashionably represent them all (OH, WAIT, she’s not really them. I forgot, she’s a REAL PERSON). I like this a lot. Simple. Modern. Winning.